Jun 15, 2021
Let me make this clear…
You are more than what you do for a
living!!
Your identity is more and deeper than what you do for your
career or business!
Fellas, ultimately, we are destroying ourselves because we are
defining ourselves primarily by what we do for a living…instead of
by the TRUTH OF WHO WE ARE!
Our identity is HOW we see and perceive ourselves…how we define
ourselves. How we perceive ourselves has great impact on
whether we have positive or negative self-esteem toward ourselves.
This identity dictates how we show up in the world.
PROBLEM: WE IDENTIFY OURSELVES BASED ON OUR CAREER
- We often identify & define ourselves by what we do (i.e.
doctor, lawyer, business owner, etc.), and how well we do it.
- If you were asked…”Who are you?” How would you answer? Often
times our professional title is used to answer that question.
- When first meeting someone we often immediately talk about what
we do. The first question after greeting someone and sharing our
name is the question, “What do you do?”
- We connect our WORTH and VALUE to what we do and how well we do
it
- We often automatically translate our level of success or
failure within our career or business, to a measure of what our
personal value and worth is.
- We often think…”Once I achieve this next career goal…then I’ll
be happy”. This in essence is saying, “I will feel better about
myself…I will feel of value and worth only AFTER I achieve this
professional goal”.
Unfortunately, this dependence of our identity on our career is
a setup for…
- Perpetual failure: In essence we never believe we are good
enough because our worth will always be connected to the next goal
we are in pursuit of and therefore only happy and fulfilled once we
achieve it. That means the rest of the time while in pursuit of
achieving the goal, you feel ‘less than’.
- An emotional rollercoaster: If (and only when) we achieve, then
we are happy about ourselves. But if we don’t achieve, then we feel
horrible about ourselves.
- Conditional self-worth: Your self-worth and self-esteem is
completely conditional upon performance…which is false!! Your
self-worth and value has NOTHING TO DO with your performance or
achievement! You have intrinsic value that fuels your ability to
achieve…not that achievement fuels your value.
- A lack of self-control: We can NOT control many circumstances
that influence our results in life. Therefore, when we connect our
value to our results, we are in essence connecting our value to
things we have zero control over.
What I’ve found is that when our identity and value is tied to
influences that are external from us, such as our job or titles, it
creates what I call a conditional performance
identity:
- If I perform well…then I have a temporary positive self-esteem
and value
- If I don’t perform well…then I have a constant negative
self-esteem and value
The challenge with this way of thinking is that our career,
jobs, and businesses can change based on circumstances we have no
control over (i.e. market changes, Covid, etc.) And if
circumstances change the results within our career…then so does our
identity and self-value.
Examples:
Professional sports
- Post retirement identity issues: Athletes struggle with
retirement because their identity was primarily defined by their
career as an athlete. As the career retires, so does their identity
and feeling of self-worth.
- Career Anxiety & depression: When they don’t perform at a
certain level, they will struggle mentally because their value and
identity is tied to their level of performance.
This happens within our careers as well…but it just more on full
display with professional sports.
SOLUTION: ANCHOR OUR IDENTITY ON SOMETHING FOUNDATIONAL THAT
WILL NEVER CHANGE
Your identity is WHO YOU ARE…not What
you do!!
Your identity should help you in ALL areas of life! Not just for
your career!
Who you are is based on THE TRUTH who YOUR CREATOR says you are
and the INTRINSIC UNIQUENESS AND VALUE YOU WERE BORN WITH.
You ARE…
- A child of God: Therefore by definition you are
- Royalty: You are a chosen child of The King
- Capable: Made in the image and likeness of God himself
- A Citizen of heaven: You are a representative of The Kingdom of
Heaven
- Great: God is great, and the Spirit of God is IN
YOU…therefore you are great
- Complete: You are already equipped with greateness. You don’t
NEED anything to be great.
Therefore, you show up great, because your intrinsic value is
great! You don’t need to prove your value by performing because you
ALREADY ARE GREAT!
I envision God asking…”Who told you, that you were just a
doctor…lawyer…business owner?”
When you come from this place of known intrinsic value and
greatness…the pressure is off! You don’t have to perform to prove
your worth or value. You can now create to the level of who your
TRUE identity is, based off of who your creator says you are.
ACTION: DISCOVER WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE
Do some simple research. Google this phrase: “What does God say
about who I am in the bible?”
Write down your top 3 things of what God says about who you are.
Start telling yourself this daily to remind yourself about who you
really are and your true identity!
If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Brad