Jul 27, 2021
THE CHALLENGE:
Have you ever struggled with perfectionism or feeling like no matter how well you do something…it seems like it’s not quite good enough? Do you ever place a large amount of pressure and stress on yourself to perform at a high level and you find yourself beating yourself up when you don’t achieve?? Do you ever feel that you can never meet a certain standard you’ve set for yourself?
I’ve struggled with this idea of self-doubt, feeling like I’m not good enough, and having to achieve more in order to prove my worth and value as a man…and beating myself up when I don’t achieve “up to par”.
As men we all have a need for validation. The definition of validation is…”the act of affirming a person, or their ideas, feelings, actions, as acceptable and worthy”. Every man, including you desires to be affirmed and to feel as acceptable and worthy. Validation is what defines our self-worth and value.
THE PROBLEM: “External Validation” (aka Kryptonite)
Validation is needed and good, but only if it is coming from the right place and is not dependent on something external from us or outside of our control.
More often than not, we seek validation from and depend on validation from the wrong places…from things that are external from us.
-This becomes a setup for dependence on something (similar to an addict dependent on drugs or alcohol)
- This becomes a setup for future crisis. If we become dependent on the validation, and it leaves, then so does our value & worth
-Top 3 things men receive external validation from:
Our identity (how we define ourselves) is closely linked to what we get validated by most!!
For example, If you are dependent on success as a means of validation, then you will self-identify as a success ONLY IF you succeed at your goal. Unfortunately, the opposite will destroy your self-perception. Meaning, if you don’t succeed or not actively succeeding…then you’ll identify yourself as a failure.
Ways to determine if you are becoming addicted/dependent on some external validation
How to Turn Kryptonite into Cure
SOLUTION:
ACTION ITEM:
Daily remind yourself of who God says you are. His creation and your identity in him validates you!
The result? There will be no circumstance that can stop you! You’ll become unstoppable and unbreakable!
If you need help, book a 1:1 Discovery Call with me at https://drbradmd.com